Title: If Only… We Will Be Together
“Unnie!” A shout can be heard from the distance, as a little girl runs towards someone, and the person didn’t even realize that.
Well, she was listening to the music. That has been her habit since she was small. No wonder she couldn’t hear anything.
“Unnie!” The girl, who was now just a few meters behind her shouted once again, hoping that she could hear her calling. But no, she doesn’t hear anything.
The little girl grew impatient, so she sped up and stopped in front of the older girl, stopping her in track too. The older girl smiled at her as she took off her headset and said, “Hey dongsaeng, how are you?”
“Unnie, you know what, this person really annoys me!” Jija said, munching on her biscuit. Zai just looked at her little sister with amusement as she reads the pink letter delivered by Jija.
“Why don’t you just ignore him?” Zai said softly, as she flipped that letter and place it back into the envelope. She took another biscuit and started munching it too.
“How on earth am I going to ignore him when he always follows me? Tell me unnie, and the chocolates and ice creams…” Jija trailed off, not realizing that she had just told Zai about her little secret. “Oh no…” she mumbled when she realizes that. Well, it was too late now. Zai looked disbelievingly at Jija, thinking whether she should be mad at her or just let her be.
Looking at her unnie’s reaction make Jija scared. Well, her unnie is really something. She could be smiling but only God knows what she is thinking at that moment. She also can just be mad so sudden like a time-tick bomb. Wow, that’s really scary.
Zai, on the other hand wanted to burst out laughing looking at Jija’s terrified face. Her dongsaeng is just too cute; no wonder she loves her so much. Unable to contain herself anymore, she finally burst out laughing, shocking Jija.
“Unnie, are you okay?” Jija asked, as she leaned forward a little to take a better look at Zai. ‘I think she’s sick, that’s why she’s acting like this,’ Jija thought, as she stared at Zai for a bit more.
Zai couldn’t stop laughing, not after hearing Jija’s question. She laughed until she tears come pouring out of her eyes, until her stomach and cheeks were pain due to too much of laughing. After a few minutes only she managed to calm down, as her laugh slowly fade away, her cheeks flushed.
“Sorry Jija. It’s just that your reactions were too hilarious. Oh no just thinking about it making me want to laugh again~!” Zai exclaimed, wanting to laugh but stopped immediately when Jija puffed her cheeks in protest. Zai smiled sweetly at her as she said, “Don’t worry dear, after this he will not go after you anymore.”
“Eh, why is that so?”
“Because I’m going to accept him.”
I walked towards the large tree in front of Jija’s campus, as we had promised to meet here after her class. We couldn’t be separated, as I couldn’t bear looking at my dear dongsaeng all alone. She is actually my step sister, as my parents took her from that dreadful house. Okay, long story cut short, I love her the most. She’s the most precious person in my life now, aside from my parents.
I sat on one of the benches under the tree. It was calming and cold, despite that the weather is hot, because I’m sitting under a very large tree. Actually I wanted to wait for her in front of her campus like I used to, but she told me to wait here instead. She don’t want me to feel hot because her class finishes at 1pm. What a sweet sister~
I was thinking about something when I sensed someone’s approaching. I can hear the footsteps clearly; I’m always the sensitive one. I turned behind, as I saw him, walking towards my direction with a goofy smile on his face. I smiled at him, as I turned around to face the building once more. He, knew that he has been caught by me, walked normally this time and took his seat next to me.
“Anyeong, Zai.” He said, I know that goofy smile is still plastered on his face based on the way the talked. My friends always said that he’s a big player, I know that and I will not fall easily into his traps.
“Yes Yoochun, anyeong. What makes you here?” I asked him, not looking at him. I couldn’t look at him; I know I couldn’t resist that flirting smile of his.
He then suddenly stands up, as he walked in front of me, making me facing him. I glanced to look at him, and my heart melts at his cute yet handsome face staring aimlessly at me.
“Can I ask the direction?” He suddenly said out of nowhere, of course that kind of shocked me a little. Where is he going to go?
“Direction to where?” I asked him back.
“Direction to your heart.”
His reply makes me blush in an instant, as my heart started to pound loudly. Oh god, why do he have to be so… adorable like this? He only makes me fall deeper for him.
“I don’t know, sorry,” I said, although I really want to say ‘You’re already here’ to him. No, I couldn’t. I still have a little sister to look after.
His looked sad at my answer, it makes me sad also. Suddenly he looked at me once again. “What should I do then? I really wanted to go to your heart,” he said softly, as he slowly averted his gaze from me.
I blushed at his statement. Well, who wouldn’t? He was so hard to resist, he’s charming, he’s the perfect guy but I reminded myself. He’s a player. I might be one of his flings.
“I guess you have to figure it out yourself then,” I played the hard-to-get game. It’s not that I want to, but Jija still needs me to look after her. She’s my little sister after all.
“Is that so?” he asked me, as I nodded. “But I’ll make sure I’ll get it,” he continued.
“Get what?” a voice can be heard, asking that question from Yoochun’s back. I couldn’t see anyone behind him.
Yoochun turned around to find my sister, Jija with her arms folded to her chest, standing like a gangster in front of us. “Get what, unnie?” She asked again, this time with a softer voice.
“Get… err…” I stuttered, not knowing what to answer her. But Yoochun’s answered for me, and it makes me blushed even harder.
“The direction to her heart. I want to know the direction to her heart.”
“Spill.” Jija ordered me to do so as she was eating her lunch in the cafeteria. I just looked at her, eating hungrily like she hadn’t see the food for a year.
“Relax, slow down Jija. You might choke yourself,” I said, just trying to avoid that question. I handed her a glass of carrot juice, as I gulped down a slice of guava after munching it.
We left Yoochun under the tree after that as Jija whined that she’s hungry, but I know she’s just pretending it. Being a sweet person, Yoochun forced me to go and feed her. So here we are, sitting and eating peacefully. Well, not so peacefully as Jija was asking me the details about my conversations with Yoochun just now.
“No, you tell me first.” She demanded, taking the glass of carrot juice and slurped it down. Hey, it’s my water you’re drinking you know! I thought as I looked at her who had just finished my favourite carrot juice.
“Jija ~” I whined, hoping that she will just forget about it this time. But knowing her, I know she wouldn’t budge until I tell her everything. But, no harm in trying, right?
“Why he wanted the direction to your heart?” Jija asked me after she had finished all the foods in front of her. Is my sister a human being or what? She had just eaten 2 burgers, mine and hers, a mountain of fries, a cup of Coke and another cup of carrot juice. I swear, this girl have a large appetite, just like an elephant!
“Because… err… cause…” How on earth am I going to answer that question?! Damn you Park Yoochun! It’s all because of you! You and your sweet talks. But I like it, right…?
“Ah! I know why! He likes you, unnie. Am I right? Am I?” She asked cutely, her eyes sparkling when she does that. Geez, this girl, Jija and her cuteness…
“Erm… I don’t know… He didn’t say he likes me…” I trailed off, remembering our little conversation just now. Did he say he likes me? I don’t think…
“Of course he likes you, unnie! If not why is he asking that type of questions?! Only people who are blinded by love will ask questions like that!” Jija exclaimed happily, but unfortunately she said that a little bit too loud, as everyone looked at us. Oh God!! Jija!! Stop embarrassing me!
“Jija~! It’s too loud!!” I hissed, as I bowed a little bit at them, apologizing for my little sister’s behavior. Well, Jija, like she cares…
“No, no, no! I’m just stating the fact! I can see that! He got feelings for you! And I know that you like him also! I’m right, am I?” See, I’ve told you she wouldn’t care…
“Jija~ Wait. How do you know?” I whined but then I realized something. She knew?! All these times she knew that I got feelings for him!?
“Of course. You told me before that you’re accepting him. You’re an old woman. How could you forget that?” Aish!! Jija!!
Well, I did tell her that.
“I still remember that very clearly, young lady. It’s just that it slipped out of my mind just now.” I retorted, rolling my eyes at her. From the corner of my eyes, I can see CLEARLY that she’s also doing the same thing.
“So, are you going to tell him?” She suddenly asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Tell him what?” What is she talking about?
“About your feelings. I swear, Mom is definitely older than you, unnie.” I pinched her arms a little. She’s just so annoying!
“Hey, I won’t tell him and what do you mean by Mom is older than me? Of course Mom is older than me!”
“You’re too dense. Mom is better than you.” She took all my guavas and shove everything into her mouth.
“Hey! It’s mine!” I grabbed her hands, but it was too late. She already chewed everything and gulped them down her throat, giving out a weird sound.
“Eww, you’re gross!” Then she burped, it was so loud that the whole cafeteria can hear her.
“Gross. Gross. Gross. GROSS!!! IDIOT!!”
“Zai, I know the way to your heart already!” Yoochun said as he was trying to solve the puzzle with Jija. I was reading a thick novel, The Da Vinci Code when he said that. I looked at them, Yoochun was grinning widely, and Jija was giggling.
“You guys can be a good pair of team mate, I swear,” I said, or was I wondering that? My brain have been talking lately. I feel like a crazy girl, talking to my talking brain.
Wait, that sounds so crazy.
Anyways, what is HE doing with us? It was all because of that little devil, Jija. She had just got herself a new friend, whom turns out to be Yoochun and now they’re spending more time together. It’s okay if they wanted to do that, but why she has to DRAG me along?
Did I just sounded like a person who is jealous? I think so… If they have something on, I’m sure it is to make me jealous and make me confess to Yoochun.
“Yoochun oppa, why do you want the direction to Zai unnie’s heart?” Jija suddenly asked Yoochun. She called him oppa? That’s… understatement.
But his answer makes me blush and if they’re trying to make me mad and join them, they have succeeded.
“Because I want to deliver my heart to her heart, so that she can see my love for her.”
“Oww~ so sweet~! Zai unnie is so lucky to have someone like you loving her~” That was Jija’s reply. They’re talking like I’m not here! Hey, at least have some respect on me okay?
I tried to continue reading the novel, but after hearing what they have said, I couldn’t concentrate anymore. I slammed the novel close, placed it inside my bag and joined them solving the puzzle.
“Bored with the book? I’ve told you, you should read Harry Potter series that I gave Jija or the Twilight series. They’re more interesting that The Da Vinci Code,” Yoochun suddenly said, as he moved closer and closer to me. What is he up to?
“I’ve read the Twilight series, and I still think The Da Vinci Code is better. Harry Potter? I’m not a fan of magic and keep your distance from me, thank you if you don’t want your eyes to be blue for your class tomorrow,” I said, as he slowly moved away from me, Jija still giggling.
From the corner of my eye, I can see Yoochun pouted at Jija. She just smiled at him and tapped his shoulder lightly. I could not help myself but to feel jealous. They’re so close, just like a pair of siblings joking around.
How I hoped Yoochun would be that close with me one day. I also want to see he pouted at me, he playing with me, he giggling along with me…
[End of Zai’s POV]
We have just finished our medical checkup in the university’s hospital. All of us are required to go for a checkup as the H1N1 virus had spread to our country. There were some people who had been quarantined, but Jija, Zai and I are not affected by it. We’re safe from any infections or any symptoms.
“Oppa, look at that! There will be a singing competition next week!” Jija suddenly exclaimed when we were walking towards the cafeteria. Weird, I’ve never seen that poster before…
Singing had always been my specialty and I’m proud of the fact that I sing gracefully. My dream is to be a famous singer afterwards, maybe after my graduation I might go to any singing competitions…
As I was daydreaming about my future dream and Jija pulling my hands like crazy, suddenly we heard a sound of car screeching and a sound of collision. We looked at the source of the sound to find a car in the middle of the road, and a bloody body lying just a few meters in front of the car.
“Oh my god, who could have been that? That person should have used the zebra crossing instead…” I murmured, not realizing that Zai was not by my side anymore, not realizing that Jija had already pulled me towards the car. Suddenly Jija screamed, I’ve never heard she screamed like that before this.
“What’s wrong, Jija? Where’s Zai?” I asked her, as she started to cry uncontrollably and keep on pointing at the body lying on the road. I looked at the body, and then I saw something familiar. Isn’t that the Zai’s shoes, the one the person is wearing…?
I started to walk towards the body. “No, this can’t be! Jija, it’s not her!” I said to Jija just to calm her down, but in fact I’m started to panicked when I saw the face.
It’s her. It’s Zai. She’s lying on the road, blood pooling around her. And people had started to surround her by now. I walked even closer towards her with Jija trailing beside me, still crying hysterically.
She was holding a paper in her hands. I kneeled down beside her and placed her head on my lap. Blood was everywhere, on her shirt, on the hands, on the road…
“Zai…?” I croaked out, I can’t believe the person I loved the most is lying on the road after being hit by a car. She can still smile at me, despite that she’s feeling very painful right now. Blood keeps on oozing out from her, every part of her is covered with blood. Her hands moved a little, as she tried to give me the paper she was holding. I took the paper and was shocked when I read it.
“Yoo… Yoochunn… Please… Join this… competition… I want you… to… win this…” Zai murmured those with much difficulty, blood coming out from her mouth as she did that.
“I will, I will Zai! Just don’t leave me yet! You must see me sing, you must see me win!” I said, I really want her to see that moment. She had risked her life, just to get this form for me. Why is she so stupid? She could use the zebra crossing than risking her life like this!
“Win… for… me…” That was her last words before she passed out. I cried after she said that, the same goes to Jija. She had been crying since just now, she couldn’t stop crying.
After all it’s our beloved person whom gets hit by the car.
Jija was hugged by her mother when the doctor stormed out from the emergency room, his gloves full of blood. We all stormed towards him, I can see that he’s desperate for something.
“Ms Kim’s family members?” He asked as Jija’s parents nodded their head.
“Ms Kim had lost a lot of blood, and she really needs to have a blood transfusion so that we can save her. But the problem is, her blood type is very rare, it’s AB-. Any of you have the same blood group as hers?” The doctor asked, as Mr. and Mrs. Kim looked at each other and shook their head in dismay.
“No, mine is A+ whilst my wife’s is B-,” Mr. Kim said, as then the doctor turned his attention towards me. “How about you, young man? What’s your blood group?”
“Mine is O,” I said, hoping that I could somehow help her. But the doctor shook his head, my heart sink to the ground as he did that.
“Me! Doctor, I’m AB-!” Jija suddenly said, her hand right up in the air like she was about to answer a question.
“NO!” We all barked at her, of course she couldn’t!
“Jija, you’re still underage! You cannot do that! You will lose a lot of blood if you did that!” Mrs. Kim told Jija that, but knowing Jija, she’s very stubborn.
“No! Mom, unnie needs me! Her safety is more important right now! Since I have the same blood type as hers, why can’t I help her?”
“Jija, Zai will be upset if she knows you did this for her and you’re risking your own life also, do you know that?” I told her, holding her shoulders to make sure that. But Jija’s eyes were full of tears, it is very clear that she really love her sister and wants to do anything just to save Zai’s life.
“Oppa, please tell unnie I love her so much. I do this because I want to repay all what she had given up just to make me happy. Oppa, please, make her happy after this, okay?” She told me, her voice was quivering and tears were flowing out from her eyes like waterfall.
“No, Jija no, I won’t let you do that…” I cried, hoping that she wouldn’t risk her life like this.
“Please oppa…” she pleaded, almost kneeling when the doctor called her.
“Go! Don’t let me down! Come back safely!” I said, as I pushed her towards the awaiting nurse, as they walked towards another room…
After 5 hours Jija had been sent into that room, after 5 hours pacing in front of the emergency room, after 5 miserable hours, the doctor finally comes out from the emergency room, his gloves full of blood and even his operation dress were stained with blood.
Me, Mr. Kim and Mrs. Kim rushed towards the doctor immediately, but I sensed something in his eyes. Something like…
“How are our daughters, doctor?” Mr. Kim asked the doctor, as the doctor asked them to relax.
“Please, Mr. Kim, Mrs. Kim, I’m going to tell you 2 bad news,” the doctor started to say, as Mr. Kim hugged his wife, as I just stand like a statue in front of the doctor. “You too, young man, this is not going to be easy for you,” the doctor told me, as suddenly it hits me. Bad news, what could they be?
“Ms. Kim Jija had donated her blood to Ms. Kim Zai, but she loses too much of blood after she donated her blood,” the doctor said, Mrs. Kim howled and hugged onto Mr. Kim.
“What’s the other bad news?” I asked the doctor, as I already knew what the possibilities of both of them surviving are very low, not after what the doctor had just told us.
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t do anything to save Ms. Kim Jija, and Ms. Kim Zai had already loses too much of blood that even blood transfusion would not help her. I’m sorry, I couldn’t save your daughters,” the doctor said it with a very low voice, but I managed to caught every single thing he is saying.
Mrs. Kim fainted as soon as she heard this news, as Mr. Kim hugged her even tighter and pulled her into another room. I was left in confusion, I really want to ask something.
“Doctor, may I ask something?” I stopped the doctor when he was about to turn away. “Yes, young man, what can I help you?” he said.
“Just now you said that a blood transfusion can save Zai, but now you said that even blood transfusion couldn’t save her. You should have mentioned this earlier, their parents loses 2 daughters in just one day! Jija could have been saved! Both of them could have been saved, am I right?!” I asked him, my voice getting higher with each word and eventually I was half screaming at the doctor.
“Young man, I’m sorry. I thought blood transfusion can save Ms. Kim Zai but we had just realized that her main artery had burst only after Ms Kim Jija donated her blood. I’m sorry, young man that you had lose 2 friends in just a day. If I could save them, I would try every single method I know to save them. But God loves them even more,” the doctor said, he is still calm after what I had said.
I can’t believe it, I lose my beloved person and my best friend in just a day. It is all because of the singing competition. If only Jija didn’t see the poster, if only Zai uses the zebra crossing, if only I was early enough to realize that Zai had went to take the form, if only I didn’t tell them about my dreams, if only I stopped Jija from donating her blood, all these couldn’t have happened.
It is all my fault, my entire fault…
If only I protected both of them… But it’s too late now. Jija and Zai had left me, they both had left me here…
[A week after…]
I was standing at the side of their tombs, as I give my last respect to them. I walked away from the cemetery when their tombs were descended into the ground. I couldn’t stand it.
They leaving me, forever, this thought disturbs me for the past one week. I keep on thinking about them…
And now, I’m standing at the side of the cliff, Jija’s favourite place. She loved heights, the same like me. I looked down, I’ve chosen the right place.
“Jija, Zai, I shall join you girls now…,” I said softly, as I took a step forward, falling from the side of the cliff…
May they rest in peace.
+++++++++ [The End] +++++++++++++++++++
Sorry, it was so long and so sad! Zai unnie wanted it to be sad ending, but sorry that it was too tragic! I’m sorry!!! I have to kill Yoochun too~ I’m sorry! This is just the most tragic and the longest story I’ve written! Oh my, don’t kill me! Comments are still better, they could have make me feel better~